Struggling With A Decision, Try The Pain Gain Model
Struggling with a big decision? Try the Pain/Gain Model!
Based on the Business Model Canvas where one maps customer problems (pains) and the key positives (gains) a product or service can deliver, the Pain Gain Model helps us examine decision-making between two ideas. It is often presented as a way to decide whether to make a change such as start a new behavior or stick with current behaviors.
This model works well with a coach asking the questions but can also be used as a journaling exercise.
The key is to ask questions about the change to uncover thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and actions.
Below are two examples showing an initial and follow-up question along with responses. Make sure to record the responses so in part two the client can review what they said.
This model is for binary decisions. Instead of tackling all decisions at once, pick the biggest one, for example, should I stay or should I go?
In each case, the coach or person asking the questions would ask additional questions to help uncover the surface-level issues plus feelings, desires, assumptions, limiting beliefs, and desired actions.
Part 1
Example 1: Should I attend an upcoming business trip? Option 1: Stay Home, Option 2: Go
1. What is the pain or cost of staying home? What is the worst part of staying home?
I want to support my team and don’t want to let them down. I would miss out on valuable opportunities to learn. I don’t want to feel guilty. I don’t want to miss out on bonding experiences. I don’t want to be left behind in the future.
2. What are the benefits of going on the trip? What are you most excited about?
There most likely will be many opportunities for growth and relationship building. I like my coworkers and want more opportunities to contribute. I want to be promoted. I feel I could add value. It would give me a sense of accomplishment and a strong sense of belonging.
3. What are the benefits of staying home? What are you most excited about?
I’ve been working really hard recently and could use the time to catch up. I could keep my routines for wellness and with my family. Even if I wasn’t able to sleep more, not dealing with the stress of travel would allow for more rest. I could feel refreshed and better able to contribute in all areas of my life.
4. What is the pain or cost of going on the trip? What are you least excited about?
I’m concerned about getting sick because I’ve been working so hard and not taking care of myself. I’ve also been sick after other travel. The upcoming travel days are long and I’m not sure if I will be able to exercise or eat well. What if I get sick there or am too sick to catch up with everything I need to do when I return? I’m concerned about delays - getting there and back on time.
(continue with the questions in Part 2)
Example 2: Should I Make a Job Change? Option 1: Stay in Current Role Option 2: Make a Change
1. What is the pain or cost of staying in your current role? What are you least excited about?
The environment is toxic and has been hard on my health. I’m concerned something bad is happening in my body that I won’t be able to fix. I feel angry all the time and am not able to be present. It’s starting to hurt my relationships and I spend most of my day feeling like I’m putting out fires. It’s exhausting and I don’t like hearing myself complain all the time. I don’t feel like I’m able to be at my best and I don’t think anything is going to change.
2. What are the benefits of transitioning to a new role? What are you most excited about?
I want to find something that aligns with my values. I want to feel good about what I am doing and who I am in the world. I want to feel respected and like I’m making a difference. I want to be heard and help others. I want to feel passion and joy again.
3. What are the benefits of staying in your current role? What potential experiences or opportunities might occur if you stay?
I like my paycheck, health care, and benefits. I also know what to do so my base level of work is easy to do. There are a few growth opportunities I haven’t explored that could be beneficial this year. I could also take this time to work on how I respond to stressors or who I want to be. Maybe if I could find a way to care less about certain things, it wouldn’t be so bad. There will always be stress, maybe this is an opportunity for growth while I’m paid - an opportunity to create my own narrative.
4. What is the pain or cost of doing something different? What are some of the obstacles you will need to overcome?
There is a large financial risk to doing something else and I will need health insurance. I like working in a team and getting a paycheck where someone else deals with taxes. It will take time to figure out how much money I need and all the costs associated with something new. I’m worried about making the wrong decision. What if I can’t do it?
Part 2:
After walking through the above matrix questions, ask the following:
What do you see? (This question can help tap into their intuition. Check in on their thoughts/feelings/behaviors)
What stands out for you? What feelings come up for you?
What do you want to do?
At this point there is usually one option that stands out.
If the client wants to change:
Coach to achieve the gains (box 2) and reduce the pains (box 4) of making the change.
If the client seems unsure: Check in about whether fear is driving the decision by asking:
What would you do if we could achieve the gains and reduce the pains another way?
If they realize they want to change, go to “If the client wants to change.”
If the client doesn’t want to change:
Coach to achieve the gains (box 3) and reduce the pains (box 1) of not making the change.
Hope these examples help you coach others or yourself through difficult decisions!
