Giving Feedback Resources

event summary
Written By Dina Venezky

The key takeaway from the session was to partner with your reports, identify how to support their growth, and frame your feedback so they can hear your positive intentions.

We had an enjoyable discussion about why people may be defensive when receiving feedback, how to handle it, and what we might do when it seems others are not curious about how to improve.

One suggestion is to make sure the feedback receiver knows what you are doing to help them succeed. Reinforce how their goals roll up to the company's goals and discuss their progress.

Session frameworks:

  • What? So What? Now What?

  • COINS: Context, Observation, Impact, Next Steps, Stay (listen)

  • I like, I wish, What if?

Session worksheets:

  • Feedback discussion preparation

    • Observation _____

    • Impact _____

    • Desired outcome _____

    • What you want to suggest (on the left side of the page) _____

    • Questions to ask instead (on the right side of the page) _____

  • Post feedback reflection

    • On a scale of 1 to 10: I listened _____

    • On a scale of 1 to 10: I learned something _____

    • On a scale of 1 to 10: I communicated what I wanted to convey _____

    • I liked _____

    • I wish _____

    • What if _____

    • Additional thoughts for improvement _____

My goal for the month is to use the feedback discussion preparation questions to think more about how I can ask questions instead of giving my suggestions.

Our next complimentary session will focus on Overcoming the Perfection Trap. Join us on Tues, Sept 12 at 11 am PT/2 pm ET! During the one-hour workshop, we will explore techniques to resist pressure to be perfect so you can focus on what matters most.

Upcoming 2023 Monthly Sessions are on Sep 12, Oct 10 (new date), Nov 14, and Dec 5. 

Summary of Aug Session Bring Out the Best in Others: How to Give Effective Feedback

Key Takeaways

  • Develop relationships and goals

  • Practice the frameworks

  • Side with the person

Tips

  • Seek to understand the other person’s strengths and how they fit with your company’s goals. Frame feedback to help them overcome obstacles to reaching their goals.

  • Feedback should motivate growth. It should be formative (ongoing) and actionable.

  • Job skills, time management, and knowledge are easier to change than attitudes, habits, and personality traits. When trying to change more challenging attributes, focus on the behavior.

  • Check if your communication is motivating or threatening others’ sense of Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness (the SCARF Model)

  • Beware of blaming behaviors on intrinsic qualities (Fundamental Attribution Error) for people who are outside of your core group versus blaming a situation for yourself or those like you.

  • Match your feedback to the level of experience someone has with a specific task. Give appreciation feedback to those who are doing a new task. Give coaching feedback to those with more experience on the task. 

  • Give coaching and appreciation feedback close to the event (within a week). 

  • Give evaluation feedback every six to eight weeks for new hires and those on performance plans; every three months for those with new responsibilities or those who have asked for new responsibilities; every six months for everyone else.

  • Psychological safety and a culture of growth is important for people to be able to hear feedback. 

  • There are three components to each feedback situation: the feedback giver, the receiver, and the issue. Side with the person, not the issue.

To reflect on:

  • What is the culture like in your organization and how does it affect how feedback is given?

  • When is it easy for you to give feedback in your professional and personal life?

  • How can we help others overcome their previous negative experiences with feedback?

Additional Resources

Dina Venezky
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Letting Go of Wanting to Be Perfect…
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Give Feedback Immediately or Within a Week of the Issue