You Are Good Enough
Socially prescribed perfectionists believe that they are only good enough if others think they are good enough. They derive their value from trying to measure up to a family or societal standard, feeling the need to prove oneself for love or attention.
Those of us who have perfectionist tendencies may notice that sometimes our high standards can be helpful, whereas other times they can hold us back.
For example, when inside our comfort zones we may not care as much about what others think of us and we may be able to tolerate a less-than-perfect outcome. However, as we move further from our comfort zone, fears of not meeting high standards can lead to procrastination and decreased self-esteem.
Recognizing perfectionist tendencies that are no longer serving us can help us overcome them. Start by reflecting on what is fueling your perfectionism.
Did you grow up feeling that you only mattered if you met a high standard set by others?
Do you remember having perfectionist tendencies your entire life?
Are you overcompensating for feeling not good enough or for past challenges?
Perfectionism can develop after traumatic experiences and periods of uncertainty, it’s also common for anyone living with neurodivergence.
Suggestions for handling perfectionism:
Set small incremental and achievable goals
Practice sitting with discomfort
Be patient and self-compassionate
Remind yourself that you matter, even when you are not achieving.
A few resources
