Updating My Version of Perfection
Before applying to college my mom and I visited a few schools. We drove long distances in less-than-comfortable clothes and then waited with others for the interview. While I was describing my interests and trying to learn about the school from the interviewer and their standard office - wooden desk, bookshelves, window, and poster, my mom was listening to the other moms talk about their daughters.
The most memorable part of the college tour for me was not what the schools looked like but my mom’s description of what the other mothers said in the waiting room.
“My daughter had her first play produced on Broadway.”
“My daughter speaks eight languages fluently and has traveled the world.”
“My daughter (insert accolade here)”
In my mind the comments morphed into one super-human candidate who was not only on their way to curing cancer but also modeled, created award-winning pastries, published best sellers, was training for the Olympics, and had limitless linguistic and mathematical abilities that secret agencies were fighting over.
The anxiety I felt about the application process before the trip was nothing compared to how I felt afterward. And even though I never felt I met the superhuman I had created in my mind, the anxiety stayed with me.
When asked what perfection looks like, I think about what the super-human candidates from my college tour are doing now. Maybe because the tour was in New England or because of something else from childhood, I imagine them smiling as they open the doors to their houses with white picket fences, a dog, two to three kids, and a loving partner. They are about 5’8” with shoulder-length hair and no body fat. They run with a neighborhood group in the morning, work long hours, and make attending to all their family’s needs look effortless.
I’m amused to admit that although I consider myself an intelligent person with a firm understanding of reality, this is the first time I’ve seriously questioned my view of perfection.
Armed with years of professional and personal development I am thinking about what my version of the ideal person might have looked like if I had grown up in an area with more people who looked like me or if I had different role models.
I’m ready to let go of the version of perfection that no longer serves me.
Self-reflection:
I encourage you to reflect on your own definition of perfection and who/what it was influenced by.
What are your unique qualities?
Is there anything you can let go of that is holding you back?
How could you be a role model for your younger self or for others like your younger self?
Perfection comes in various forms. I encourage you to explore your own path and embrace your strengths.
