Learning to Let Go
It’s probably not a surprise to hear that I find it challenging at times to let go of control. Being in control has led to many positives in my life in different roles. Paying attention to details and having high expectations is valued for many projects.
However, needing to have control can be very limiting. If we can’t trust others, we can’t delegate. If we can’t prioritize, often everything suffers.
As part of my going back to school thread, I created a list for those dropping off students. Many of the items on the list are relevant to managers, project leads, and anyone trying to advance professionally and personally.
Let’s start by saying Congratulations on your new journey! It’s important to celebrate all the amazing things you’ve done to get here.
If you are dropping off a student or learning to delegate, now is the time to land your helicopter and transition to a supporting role. Each of our journeys is different and your new mission, if you choose to accept it, is to give others the autonomy they need to thrive. Below are a few thoughts on transitioning relationships.
It is tough and you are not alone. Connections are important. Reach out to others in similar situations.
Think about who you want to be in your new relationship. What small steps can you take to get there?
Transition from offering advice to listening and encouraging others to find solutions.
Encourage others to try new things, meet new people, and realize that establishing connections is an important early goal.
Give others the opportunity to make mistakes and support them in their efforts (how they learn).
Respect the process. It’s rarely linear or quick.
For students and those you manage: Schedule a time to connect, weekly works well for students and less senior reports.
It’s natural to think things aren’t going well when you hear issues. Venting is a natural process and you are the safe recipient. Start by listening.
You can help offload an issue without taking it on yourself. Find out if others want to be heard (I will listen to you vent for 5-10 min), helped (happy to ask empowering questions, problem solve with you, or give advice), or hugged (comforted).
Respect others’ boundaries. Setting boundaries requires communication and action. Try to be a part of the solution and model the respect others need.
Let them know you are there for them (for students: and will always love them).
For students: Discuss in advance how you will celebrate birthdays, holidays, etc. For reports: Discuss how they like to work and receive feedback.
Schedule something fun for yourself to look forward to as you make your transition (for students: after drop-off and throughout the year).
Celebrate how far they’ve come!
Celebrate how far you’ve come!
